Tag Archives: Friends

The Family We Choose

6 Dec

I have a truly great group of girlfriends. They are beautiful, smart and funny women. They each possess characteristics I strive for and they inspire me to be better. There are four in particular who I consider my closest friends. I can talk to all of them about anything. I trust them completely. My relationship with each of them is such that I know they will always be there for me and I am always here for them. I wasn’t always in a place in my life when I knew for sure where I stood with people. I am so happy that I have friends whom I love and who I know love me back, it’s a great thing to have.
My oldest and closest friend truly is my rock. She has been there through all of the biggest moments in my life. When I’m feeling panicked or uncertain about something she is always my first call, and each time she gets me back to sanity and calms me. She always knows just what to say to help me gain much needed perspective. She is smart and caring and never asks for anything. The distance and time that keep us apart seem to grow every year yet each time we speak or get together our relationship remains the same, I’m very lucky to have her in my life.
The next I always first think of as the fun one. The one who I can always call when what I need is a night on the town with drinks and dancing. But she is much more than this. She is quick witted and has a fantastic sense of humor. She’s strong and always fights for what she believes in. No matter what we do together I know we will have fun, just having her there makes anything a great time. Whether it be a girls night out or sitting and talking for hours, I love having her in my life.
Now for the one who my relationship with started out very differently than it has ended up. When we met we were perhaps too similar to really become close. On the outside she is tough, she knows what needs to be done and she takes care of it. She’s very organized and her home is always perfect. I wish I was that woman, the one who’s home is spotless even if you stop by unannounced. I don’t know how she does it. But the part of her I love the most is the part that took time for me to get to know. Considerate and sweet she never lets me feel bad when I screw up. When I’m kicking myself and loosing sleep over something, particularly in my mothering role, she knows exactly what to tell me to get me out of it. She is wise and thoughtful, I honestly do not know what I would do without her.
Finally the one who has inspired me to be more appreciative and kind. She always sees the good in people. Full of energy she lights up any room she walks into. Always thinking of others and going out of her way to brighten up someone’s day. The newest addition to those I hold dearest I am so thankful to have found a great friend in her.

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My Big Plan – Extra

27 Nov

I’m not sure if this would really count as a part of the plan but it might. Getting rid of stuff that’s floating around in my head annoying me is probably helpful on my journey to self improvement. I have something to get off my chest. There is a person frolicking about in my world. A person who may refer to themselves as a close and long time friend to my husband. I am not going to name this person. I am writing this in the hopes of gaining the satisfaction which comes from addressing your attacker. A satisfaction I do not expect to gain in real life by speaking to this person as I am confident that even if they did admit to their wrong doings they would make them my fault. There are people who will recognize this person from my accounts of some events, please respect my choice to not name names and keep it to yourself or comment to me privately. Thank you.
The following is a selection of incidents perpetuated by the above mentioned frolicker. From this point on I will be writing as if I am speaking to them, because thats easier.
(1) Calling me a whore and telling me I forced my husband into depression and ‘ruined’ him. Then in response to a request for an apology from me stated that (2) you meant what you said and would not take it back. Later (3) insinuating that my son should be circumcised by uttering “a boy should look like his father” and (4) stating that my desire to send my children to a Catholic school is stupid and doesn’t make any sense. When Scott asked you about 3 & 4 you (5) denied the occurrence and blatantly lied stating that (6) I behaved completely differently than I would have had Scott been present, telling him that I attacked you. And finally when asked to take responsibility for items 1 & 2 claimed (7) to not recall them at all.
When I think about one and two I wonder how you can truly consider yourself a friend to my husband when you are so openly disrespectful of his choices. We are married because we love each other and you being so unkind to me shows a great lack of consideration for the feelings of your friend.
In regards to number three I think my sons penis is absolutely none of your concern.
As far as number four is concerned what school my children attend has no bearing on your life whatsoever and I fail to see what you hope to accomplish is saying anything about it at all. Except perhaps to be mean or get a reaction.
Number five? There were others present who recall precisely what you said.
And six how dare you lie to your friend, and about his wife. He knows me and knows what I would and would not do. To expect him to believe your falsified account of the incident could suggest that you have little faith in his intelligence.
Seven, I find it difficult to believe that you cannot recall. Especially being that Scott talked to you about it later and you apologized to him for treating me that way.
To me it appears that accepting responsibility for your actions is not a great strength for you. Lying to your friends seems to be your defense of choice. My husband has maintained a hope that you would recognize the error in your ways and come around. I hope that he is right, and I believe the first step to being the person he hopes you to be would be admitting your mistakes and attempting to make it right with those you have wronged. I wish you luck in this.

Time to Remember

11 Nov

I want to write just a quick post today. Nothing to do with the plan.

I didn’t know him well or for very long, but my husband did. And Scott loved him. He grew up with him, had piles of adventures with him and held him as one of his closest friends. When we first started dating stories were often filled with stories of Darky Mark or The Chinaman. Funny, adventurous and most of all brave. When I finally did meet him I could see what the fuss was about, why Scott held him in such high regard. His smile was infectious and could make even the shy new girl to the group feel at ease.

I didn’t get the chance to know him the way I would have liked. The times I did spend with him I could see all the love that surrounded him by all that knew him. He was a great man.

For the first time in my life I have experienced a loss that really hurt me at my core. The loss of a person I knew only in a small way, but who touched the man I love so deeply that it hits me more than I thought it would.

Cpl. Mark McLaren

September 7th 1985-December 5th 2006

He will not be forgotten

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