Tag Archives: Bed Share

Mad, Sad and Hopeful

26 Sep

This post has been edited. After re-reading it I recognized how hurtful some of my comments may have been. That was not my intention and I am very sorry to anyone who was hurt. I went off on a rant and didn’t consider other peoples feelings.

The other night I was lying in bed unable to sleep when I heard Logan wake up in his room and go into the kitchen to get himself a drink. He then came into our room and climbed into our bed and went back to sleep. The stirring woke Bella up a bit and I rolled over, got my shirt out of the way and she found the boob herself, nursed for a moment and was back into her deep sleep within minutes. So, in the middle of the night both of my kids woke up, had a drink and were back to sleep in less than 15 minutes and all I had to do was roll over.

Why in our society do we look down on things like nursing and co-sleeping? Ugh, just thinking that people do not 100% support it makes me angry! Why do people want their babies to grow up faster? To consume processed products? Bahh I’m so mad.

I will start with all the bystanders. Those people who’s children have grown up or, my favorite, the ones who have never had children. They hear something somewhere or are grossed out by the thought of a baby breastfeeding and feel that they then have the right to give dirty looks or even comment when a mother feeds her child. Shut up! You don’t know anything and you are incredibly rude and uneducated. And hey you nurses that tried to take my baby from me in the hospital because you weren’t comfortable with me falling asleep holding her back the frick off! The chemicals released after I had her and while I have been nursing her have primed my brain to respond to every move and noise she makes. I am not going to squish her. It’s not right that a new mother should have to fight to keep her baby in her arms. Don’t tell me she has been nursing for too long! She has just been through a very traumatic experience being born and if she wants to nurse constantly that is perfect. I know that you know the best thing for baby is to be close to Mommy with as few interruptions as possible so why are you fighting me? Shame!

Fathers, the ones who complain about the baby in the bed or how all of Moms time is taken up by the nursing baby, grow up! That baby and Mommy are getting more sleep because they are together, and them getting more sleep means they will be happier, we all know that a happy baby makes for a happy Mommy and a happy Mommy makes your life a heck of a lot easier. You should be doing everything you can to help in every way you can think of. Then go online and look up more ways to help. We all know you don’t really know what needs to be done.
All you Daddys who are trying your best, getting involved and loving your babies (my hubby included) Thank You! I imagine it can be hard on you when baby is so little and Mom is the primary care giver so good on you for trying! Keep it up! Logan and Bella are madly in love with their Daddy and that has a lot to do with how much he shows them his love.

I understand the struggle it can be to successfully breastfeed. It can be incredibly painful, and lots of resources will tell you it should not be uncomfortable at all and you assume you are doing something wrong and it’s hard to want to continue. It does get better, easier and it really is natural and you and your baby will figure it out. You will learn together.

There is so much “information” out there saying negative things about breastfeeding. Formula companies advertise everywhere and there are so many bottles on the market you feel like having a baby means you should own bottles. There’s a very good chance that someone is going to tell you that sleeping with your child in your bed is bad. Those people have put absolutely no thought into the fact that we are one of the few societies where young children have their own bed at all. Or that our ancestors lived in homes that simply did not include multiple bedrooms, families slept together. Just because it costs more does not make it better. Breastfeeding first started getting it’s negative attention when only women with less money were doing it, the rich ones used bottles because they could afford to buy them and it became the poor woman’s way to feed her child. Why being free, always available and the most healthy option is a bad thing escapes me completely.

Listen hear ‘modern’ society and all you judgey people our babies need our love, cuddles and snuggles. They need to be close to the people who love them as much as possible and they need the food their Mom’s body makes for them so stop saying or even insinuating otherwise. Mothers have a hard enough time learning about their babies and trying to do the best thing for them without all of the conflicting advice out there.

All you Mommas who are trying to find your way through raising your baby hold on to what you believe and don’t be afraid to fight for what you know is right for your child. Hopefully someday the people around us will snap out of their judgmental, uninformed frame of mind and we will all receive the the support we deserve for loving our babies without bending to the people who tell us we are doing it wrong.

%d bloggers like this: